Just What I Need

Several events over the past week have led me to discover what was amiss in my life, why I was getting so discouraged and why this blog was so depressive. First, a friends comment on a previous post suggested I talk to a friend about my troubles to help lessen my burden. I got to thinking about this, and to be honest, I don't like talking to others about my problems. I know that sounds odd since I post them on here for the whole world to read about, but that's just it. When I write done how I'm feeling on here, for me, I'm just writing them down on the computer. Yes, I know that someone may read my posts, but when we write in any journal, aren't we doing it so someone at some point in time can read them and learn from our experiences? Writing my feelings is less personal than talking to someone so it's easier for me to do, but it accomplishes the same thing. It gets those feelings off my chest so that I can move on. In the process this blog sounds like I'm constantly depressed and feeling sorry for myself, but in reality these are just the low points of my day and once the words are written and the feelings expressed, I'm able to move on and focus on more positive aspects of life. In realizing this, I also came to realize that I need to express more often those positive moments because they do happen. It was one of these positive moments that lead me to discover just what I need right now to help me over this bump in the road, and that is the companionship of good friends. I have tons of people offering to help me with this task or that chore, but that's not what I need. I actually need to do those things myself so that I can feel productive during the day (no, "growing two babies" is not something that makes me feel productive). Last week I stopped by a friends house to drop something off and ended up spending several hours there talking with her. We did talk a little about the pregnancy, mainly because she too is pregnant and only a few weeks behind me in her pregnancy, but we mainly just talked about life in general. I felt so much better after I left her house, it was just the break that I needed. My life right now is so centered around this pregnancy and these babies that it was like a burst of fresh air to visit with a friend and not have to think about the pregnancy or any of the trials associated with it. I had the opportunity to take similar breaks from reality two other times this week. J suffered by having to stay up past her bedtime and hanging out with me and my friends, but she survived, and I thrived. I am grateful for friends who let me interrupt their lives for hours or even just minutes at a time just to visit, it truly is just what I need right now!