Fear

That would be fear of the unknown known. We just found out that Erik gets to pick his permanent assignment on Wednesday. Since he told me the news, my stomach has been in knots. We're loving his schedule know, and he LOVES the station he's at. While there is a chance that everything could stay just how it is, there is a bigger chance that everything could change. It's knowing what those changes could be that worries me. We've dealt with day shift (not likely for a rookie), evenings (which we have now and are enjoying), and nights (the shift that I fear). I remember the stress and exhaustion that came with the 5 weeks Erik spent on night shift. I was stressed as I tried to find ways to entertain Jordyn upstairs or out of the house so Erik could sleep, he was exhausted because it was near impossible to keep Jordyn out of the bedroom since she knew that her daddy was in there. Remembering those feelings and knowing that that is a looming possibility fills my heart with fear. Another, and greater fear, is that Erik will have to switch stations. He loves the station he's at and I enjoy the fact that he doesn't have to deal with a lot of "big crimes", that he's mainly doing traffic (which he REALLY enjoys doing). I fear that he could go to a station where there's an officer involved shooting monthly, or he's dealing with hardened gang members or other such crimes where he is more likely to get hurt. Don't get me wrong, all stations have those possibilities, and I fear pray for his safety daily, but some areas are worse than others. However, I know that whatever assignment he gets will be what is best for us and that Heavenly Father will up us through it.