Controversy

As I have read discussion boards, blogs, books and articles about child rearing, I have found that there is a lot of controversy. Breast feeding vs formula feeding, co-sleeping vs not, cloth vs disposable diapers, etc. and most people have strong feelings about one side or the other, but not many people think there is a middle ground.

The biggest debate I've seen when it comes to twins is breast feeding vs formula feeding. There's a discussion board that I use to frequent that's all about breast feeding multiples, but I found that while I was reading these discussions I'd get discouraged, the women on this board seemed to be of an all or nothing mindset. Mothers with infant twins would come to this site and post questions about boosting their supply or how to manage feeding twins while on the go. I felt that the responses they would get were quite discouraging. Things like, if you're supply is low feed your babies frequently until it builds up and NEVER give them a bottle, even if it means they're fussy for a few days. So I'm supposed to sit on the couch (bed, chair, wherever) and nurse my babies 24/7 and still have them hungry? NO THANKS! Though I do have to admit that reading these responses made me feel bad that I was giving my boys a couple of bottles of formula daily for the first few weeks and we still give them a bottle right before bed, it seems to help them sleep a little longer, and my supply tends to be low in the evenings anyway, but I'm over feeling bad about it. I've realized that this is what I have to do and that's life. I also give them bottles (usually of pumped milk) when we go out. It just takes to long to nurse them. I really don't want to spend an hour in the malls mother's lounge. I know there are MOMS (Mothers of Multiples) out there that have quit nursing all together because their supply wasn't 100% where it needed to be, so they thought what's the point and there's other MOMS out there that have suffered through the crying and fussiness of hungry babies because they were made to feel like they failed as a mother if they didn't exclusively breast feed their babies. Now that I've come to accept the fact that I can't exclusively breast feed, I don't feel like a horrible mother for supplementing with formula (nor do I feel that those who opt not to breast feed are horrible mothers). Some may ask why I even bother nursing my little guys part of the time, to them I say I do it first off because I enjoy it, second it saves money. In 2 months, I've only spent $1.00 on formula. We have a wonderful lady from church whose daughter gets TONS of samples of formula from her work but can't use them, and she has been gracious enough to give us some of them. We've also received a lot of samples in the mail. The $1.00 was spent on sensitive formula since regular formula causes C to have acid reflux symptoms (no we didn't buy $1.00 worth of formula, we actually got $42.00 worth, but with coupons we'd received in the mail we only had to pay $1.00 - gotta LOVE coupons).

The second debate [co-sleeping] is a big one for multiples and singles alike. I admit, I occasionally co-sleep, and I enjoy it. It started when J was a baby. I found that I got more sleep if I feed her laying down in bed, that way I could sleep while she ate and then when she was done she'd fall asleep next to me. That doesn't work too well with the boys (though I still fall asleep feeding them) but if one of them (usually C since he tends to be a bit colicky) is fussy at night. I can hold them and we'll both get better/more sleep. If the fussy one falls asleep before I do I'll put him to bed (they sleep in a co-sleeper next to my bed) but if not we sleep next to each other until one of them wakes up hungry. We did this with J until she was sleeping through the night and the only time she wants to sleep in our room (one of the arguments about co-sleeping is that you'll never be able to get the kid to sleep in their own bed) is when she's sick, or scared (ie 4th of July or New Years when there's fireworks going off - she HATES loud noises).

Diapers, diapers, diapers. I use disposable, and yes, we go through a lot of them in the course of a single day. If you use cloth, good for you, personally, I can't. The thought of changing diapers more frequently than I already do (cloth diapers don't hold as much as disposable ones) and doing more laundry? Again NO THANKS! I know some may say, well you'd save money with cloth diapers, but I haven't had to buy diapers yet, and I have a closet full of size 1 diapers now so it'll be a while before we have to buy diapers but even then no thanks on the cloth. Though I do find it interesting how short of a lifespan disposable diapers have had. Most of our mothers used cloth and were so excited about the invention of disposable and now just one generation later many mothers are returning to cloth.

This is where I stand on these issues, this is what works best for my family at the present time. I feel that we should all do what we feel is best for our current situation and not let the opinions of others make us feel discouraged.